yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
