Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
