i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
