the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
