It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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