apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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