Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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