3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
