Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
