he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
