Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
