im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
