Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
