Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
