why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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