ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Someone signed my nipple.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
