nut hugger
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
