she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
