I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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