Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
