At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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