ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
