I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
