Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
