My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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