okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
