ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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