he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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