Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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