Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
