And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
