I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
