But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
