Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
