I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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