love makes seman taste better
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I still have a little drunk in my system
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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