He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
