ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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