Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Buhtt sex?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
