Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
