So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
