Just took my morning after pill in the library
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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