People in love make me want to vomit
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
