? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
