I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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