i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
