why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
