Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
