Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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