just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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