ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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